Our self propelled lawn mower became a push mower two summers ago. The wimpy front wheel drive system just couldn't handle the terrain, and the mower itself began to falter last Fall. This spring we breathed a bit of life back into it. After a few attempts to get it back in proper working order, the thing finally gave up the ghost. Our weed eater also hadn't worked for nearly four years, not since a friend from New York came to visit and volunteered to do some yardwork. I'm not really sure what happened, but I think he put gas in without mixing in any oil, and the motor siezed. We've been borrowing yard tools for a long time, and more often than not just ignoring the yard work altogether.

With our dearth of working lawn equipment, and nature encroaching, we prepared to outfit ourselves and reclaim our house from the wilderness once more. My very tactful brother-in-law informed us that he would come help us with some tasks around the house just as soon as we made it "look like white people live there," so getting the outside of the house tamed had become a priority.

Over the past month Alicia and I went to Lowe's, Wal-Mart and Sears to compare their lawn mower offerings. After some discussion, we opted to go with a riding lawn tractor. Alicia and Emma went to Sears on Thursday and bought a 16hp Craftsman riding mower. It was the last one they had, and we were somewhat dubious about this, but Tuesday is the only day they deliver in our area, so I told her to go for it when she called asking if she should get it.

Things started to go wrong right away. They told us the driver would call Monday night and schedule a delivery time during Tuesday. We never got a call. Alicia heard from him midday Tuesday, and he delivered the goods just before time to pick me up. On the way home we bought and filled a new gas can, then headed home to fill up the mower.

With gas in the tank and the startup checklist followed, Alicia tried to turn the mower over.

Click

Nothing. We tried a few things, including charging the battery with our truck, and jumping from our truck. No dice. I called Craftsman and they suggested it was a wiring fault or a bad fuse. Alicia called Sears and suggested that they take it away. They asked her to drive out to their store (35 miles away!) and pick up a new battery. We went there immediately, which caused us to be late for Alicia's dad's birthday dinner. Both of us were in pretty sour moods, and when we arrived at home in the dark at half past ten, I quietly dropped the new battery in and Alicia climbed on and turned the key.

Keh-heh-heh-heh-sputsput-rumble-rumble-vooooom!

We have liftoff! She wheeled around in the yard for a time, changing gears and getting a feel for the mower. She moved to engage the attachment clutch and try to mow a little bit, and it stalled. Alicia cranks again and engages the mower. Stall. She tries to do things in a different order. Same thing. With a sigh of resignation she stepped inside, took a shower and we agreed to call Sears tomorrow and give them hell.

Not long after taking me to work, the manager of the lawn and garden department at Sears called asking if everything was working. Alicia explained the new problem, and the manager was quick to let us know that she was going to have a replacement delivered on Saturday. We were hoping to go out of town this weekend to visit my parents, but we need that tractor as soon as possible so we can get the yawn in order before Alicia's surgery. That, being a completely different story, is the subject of my next entry.